September 30, 2015

Ending a Conversation and Getting a Phone Number and a Date: You’re almost there!

Image result for getting phone numberSo you’re conversation has been going really well and you both enjoy talking to each other. But it can’t last forever and you have to go. Darn! What next? Seriously, especially since you’d love to talk with them again. Ending a conversation can often times be as hard or harder than starting one. No one wants to feel like they are being rude by cutting someone off or sending a signal, such as physically distancing themselves in preparation to leave, or glancing at the clock, to signal dis-interest or the desire to cut and run. Try to end your conversation on a positive note.



Indicate that you have to end the conversation for whatever reason (again fewer details are better) and be sure to leave it open for further opportunities.

Speak positively about your experience: “I really enjoyed talking with you and getting to know you.” Or something like that.

Indicate you are interested in meeting with them again: “I would like to speak with you again” or “I hope we can meet again and talk.”

Use ending your conversation as a bridge to getting their phone number: This can be really nerve wracking but gets much easier with time. Follow up with a compliment or statement of enjoyment by asking for their number. You might say “May I have your number so we can set up another time to talk?”

Another more natural way to reach this result (and get a date) is to add in, as you are wrapping up, something like “Do you have any plans this weekend?” See what they say, you are looking for signs of interest, before you actually ask them out. If they indicate not having any plans, it is often a sign that they are interested. Follow up with something like “There is a classical music concert this weekend at the local theater, would like to go.” Again, wait for their response if they indicate interest you can follow-up with “You want to exchange numbers?” Tie the invitation back to your topic of conversation or shared interest. You did it!

Remember! Everything about starting, maintaining, ending a conversation, and getting to lead to something more, can be really scary and frustrating. It will be tough in the beginning so don’t get discouraged if on the first try you get a weird look or told no. You hurt yourself by giving up. Your best friend in making this process work for you is PRACTICE! Practice having conversations with friends, family, and even strangers. Practice asking people for their telephone numbers. practice asking them out. Practice reading other people’s body language. PRACTICE YOUR EYE CONTACT! Practice being comfortable with the idea that you can succeed and build a relationship! Practice telling yourself that you CAN do this!

References:

Edmonds, G., & Worton, D. (2005). The Asperger love guide: A practical guide for adults with Asperger’s syndrome to seeking, establishing and maintaining successful relationships. London: Sage Publications.

Plank, A. (Director). (2012). How to Flirt and Get a Date [Motion picture]. United States of America: www.wrongplanet.net.

Thomas, A. (2014, April 2). Relationship and romance tips for people with disabilities. Retrieved September 19, 2015.

Tyrrell, M. (2015). Be a great conversation starter: Talk to strangers with ease. Retrieved September 19, 2015.

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